Privacy and Sexual Shame: What Dating Site Hacks Have Taught Us

Hacks and cyber crime seem to be par for the course these days. In recent years, two major attacks on big dating sites impacted hundreds of millions of people: the hack in 2015, and the hack in 2016.

Both attacks had dire consequences for the people exposed, with a wave of divorces and even some users’ lives being put at risk (in the case of Ashley Madison). They also started a serious discussion of the security of such sites. But the case of dating site hacks is not just a lesson about cyber-security – it can also provide interesting insight on sexual shame within our society.

Watching the fallout of these attacks inspired Dr. Valeria and I to make an episode specifically about this issue. In Episode 37 of the Get Sex Smart podcast, we use the attacks mentioned above as case studies and examine what they might say about us and our attitudes on the sex lives of others. In this episode we discuss:


  • the differences between the two sites
  • the details and consequences of both attacks
  • the security issues they exposed and how the sites failed their users
  • why the stakes are higher with hacks related to sexuality
  • the sexual shaming aspect of such hacks
  • societal attitudes and the need to expose and judge people for their sexuality
  • what makes people want to expose others
  • how sexual shame can impact our sex lives
  • what we as individuals can do to diffuse shame



If you have any burning questions related to dating, sex, and relationships, don’t forget to share them below!

Feeling shy? You can always send the questions in complete confidence to I read every email, and your question may be answered in an upcoming post, video, or podcast!

Want to be kept in the loop and learn more awesome dating tips? Subscribe to my newsletter and never miss an episode!

By | 2018-12-06T10:50:13+02:00 December 6th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

About the Author:

I’m not just another dating coach. I’m a Certified Sex Coach, Clinical Sexologist, and all-around Sex Nerd. I’ve built my private sex coaching practice by helping men like you, the shy Good Guys, go from being forever in the friend zone to achieving the abundance in sex, dating and relationships that you REALLY want.

Leave A Comment