Privacy and Sexual Shame: What Dating Site Hacks Have Taught Us

Hacks and cyber crime seem to be par for the course these days. In recent years, two major attacks on big dating sites impacted hundreds of millions of people: the AshleyMadison.com hack in 2015, and the AdultFriendFinder.com hack in 2016. Both attacks had dire consequences for the people exposed, with a wave of divorces and even some users' lives being put at risk (in the case of Ashley Madison). They also started a serious discussion of the security of such sites. But the case of dating site hacks is not just a lesson about cyber-security - it can also provide interesting insight on sexual shame within our society. Watching the fallout of these attacks inspired Dr. Valeria and I to make an episode specifically about this issue. In Episode 37 of the Get Sex Smart podcast, we [...]

By | 2018-12-06T10:50:13+00:00 December 6th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

When to Start Having Sex in a New Relationship

Often when we enter a new romantic relationship, we start getting anxious about the many decisions we must make. One of the biggest decisions revolves around sex - when is the right time to start having sex with a new partner? Both offline and online we can find countless "golden rules" that try to give a universal answer to this question. If you are based in the US, you've probably heard of the 3 date (or 5 date) rule. Such arbitrary rules can only make this process more confusing than it needs to be. Additionally, they can create pressure on us to conform to them while ignoring our gut feelings, desires, and boundaries. For instance, someone who wants to have sex on the first date may wait out of fear of being deemed "easy", while someone [...]

By | 2018-11-27T22:26:27+00:00 November 28th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

“Gaslighting” in Intimate Relationships

  The phenomenon of gaslighting got its name from the classical play "Gaslight" (and the film adaptations which followed it), in which a young wife is slowly driven to doubt her sanity by her husband and his clever manipulation. Today, the term "gaslighting" refers to a form of abuse and manipulation which can rear its head in any relationship (romantic or not). Like in the original story, gaslighting takes place when one partner intentionally makes the other person in the relationship feel like they are losing their mind, their self-respect, and their sense of self. Gaslighting is a very dangerous form of psychological abuse. It can be extremely subtle and may by its very nature cause the victim to distrust their judgement. Combined with the fact that abusers often appear charming to people outside the relationship, [...]

By | 2018-11-20T23:12:08+00:00 November 21st, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

Bisexuality: Truth, Myths, and Challenges

People identified as bi+(an umbrella term which includes many non-monosexual sexual orientations, such as bisexual and pansexual) outnumber gays and lesbians. Yet their struggles can often go unmentioned and overlooked or narrowed down to experiencing homophobia. Many view bisexuality as a "lighter shade" of homosexuality or a stepping-stone towards it instead of a separate and equally valid identity. What is more, even with improving representation in the media and a rise in informative resources about bisexuality, there is still a lot of stigma as well as numerous negative stereotypes attached to this identity. Since most of us are likely to either know a bisexual person or identify as bisexual ourselves, Dr. Valeria and I decided to dedicate an entire podcast episode to the topic of bisexuality and the myths and challenges that come with it. In [...]

By | 2018-11-12T20:28:04+00:00 November 12th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

Four Ways of Ending Your Relationship (and How Not to Get Hurt in the Process)

  Break-ups - they're an integral part of dating and relationships and unfortunately impossible to avoid. Dating is always a bit of a challenge - especially nowadays with so much of it happening online or over text. Like most of us, you probably have some break-up stories to tell. You may have been in relationships that ended abruptly and painfully, or alternatively ones that never seemed to really have a definitive end. Maybe your partner or date started freezing you out. Or maybe they seem to have fallen off the face of the Earth altogether. Regardless of your background and personal experiences, you probably know that break-ups can suck. Whenever feelings (and the potential for hurting them) are involved, things can get a bit messy. And dealing with break-ups gracefully (no matter which side you're on) [...]

By | 2018-10-30T14:31:36+00:00 October 31st, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

8 Signs That a Man Might Be Great in Bed

  So let's say that, as a regular listener of our podcast, you are already familiar with what makes one great in bed (if not, head over to this earlier episode, which reveals how to be an amazing lover and serves as a prequel) and feel confident about your skills. But what now? How do you actually let potential lovers know about this? If simply saying so isn't an option (please don't brag about your skills as a lover - this is one of the points we discuss), are there any alternative ways of signaling that you're great in bed? What things do women (assuming you're a man who sleeps with women) watch out for? How to withstand the pressure to increase your value as a lover by bragging? And on the flipside - what are [...]

By | 2018-10-24T12:08:30+00:00 October 24th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

Sex Robots: Are They the Future?

In Episode 21 of the Get Sex Smart podcast, Dr. Valeria and I talk about a fascinating and controversial topic: sex robots. This topic has been making the headlines (and significant progress) for a while now, but are sex robots really the future of sex? First with the very realistic sex dolls, and through today’s evolution of those dolls into animated robots and beyond, into true artificial intelligence – we discuss recent developments in the field of robotics as well as why the adult industry seems to be at the forefront of this technological revolution. Moreover, drawing on our professional experience and knowledge, we wonder what this technological advancement might mean for our sex lives. What void would (do) these sex robots fill and do they have the potential to actually help people? Can sex with a [...]

By | 2018-10-24T12:10:08+00:00 October 17th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

Fetishes: A Primer for the Newbies and the Curious

How much do you know about fetishes? Sure, the world of kink and fetishism has certainly become more mainstream in recent years (looking at you, 50 Shades of Grey!). But it can still be hard to work out what is "normal" - that is - what is common. Regardless of whether or not you are kinky yourself, you may be surprised to learn just how many of us have some sort of sexual fetish. What is more, even when we take a look at only the most popular fetishes, the variety can be truly astounding! So join me and Dr. Valeria as we dive into the world of fetishes and kink, sploshing and golden showers. In this episode of the Get Sex Smart Podcast, we'll talk about how common fetishes truly are, and give you a breakdown [...]

By | 2018-10-24T12:10:39+00:00 October 10th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

How to Be an Amazing Lover

Most of us have at least at one point in our lives felt anxious about our skills in the bedroom - we want to be an amazing lover but to get stuck because we don't have the right approach and mindset. This kind of anxiety is a common feeling, especially when our expectations are distorted by supplementing inadequate (or non-existent) sex education with porn. Often, we feel that we're supposed to just naturally be good at sex, forgetting that it's a skill like any other. That's why in this episode of the Get Sex Smart podcast, together with Dr. Valeria, we sat down to dish out some expert advice on how to be an amazing lover and have great sex. Drawing on our experience as sex coaches as well as on our personal experiences, we share with [...]

By | 2018-10-24T12:11:02+00:00 October 3rd, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

Tips & Strategies for an Amazing First Date

So let's say you've met someone you like and even set up a first date (if you haven't, be sure to check out the previous episode in the series, dedicated to online dating strategies that set you up for success). You're mentally prepared to date, everything seems fine and no red flags have been raised. But what now? If you're looking for some first date tips and mistakes to avoid (or are simply feeling anxious and in need of reassurance), tune in to Episode 13 of the Get Sex Smart podcast before you head out. In this episode, Dr. Valeria and I draw on our own dating experiences and share tips and advice on how to have a great first date - from preparing for it to winding down and processing afterwards.   You will learn [...]

By | 2018-10-24T12:11:46+00:00 September 26th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments
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