Sexuality Professions and How to Find the Right One to Help You

We've already discussed the ins and outs of working as a sex coach in one of our previous podcasts (be sure to give it a listen if you haven't already), but what about other professionals working in the realm of human sexuality? From therapists to coaches to researchers, the list of professions aimed at improving people's sex lives is long. But if you are not familiar with this field, all the different terms, niches and specialties can get a bit confusing and overwhelming. So for those of you who want to seek professional help with your sexual concerns but don't quite know where to start, Dr. Valeria and I created an episode that can serve as an overview of all the different professionals who might help in this area as well as provide some valuable tips [...]

By | 2019-01-15T23:46:46+00:00 January 16th, 2019|Podcast, Uncategorized|0 Comments

Five Mistakes Men Make When Giving Women Oral Sex (and How to Fix Them)

How is the new year treating you, folks? Dr. Valeria and I are here to help you start this new year with a bang (pun intended) by fine-tuning your oral sex skills. Most sexually active people, regardless of their gender and orientation, enjoy receiving oral sex. However, especially in the case of "heterosexual" couples, pleasuring the woman orally often ends up being relegated to the role of foreplay instead of being treated as the main event itself. This can create pressure on the woman and shift the focus away from her pleasure. To avoid this, tune in to the first episode of our Get Sex-Smart: Oral Sex series as we discuss the five most common mistakes men makes when it comes to orally pleasuring women (or more generally - people with vulvas). By listening to this episode [...]

By | 2019-01-08T19:26:08+00:00 January 9th, 2019|Podcast|0 Comments

Tips for a Great Morning After

Often when searching for dating advice, we focus first and foremost on getting a date and making a great impression on the date itself. While this makes perfect sense, it is important to remember that the next day won't just take care of itself and plan for what happens after the date as well. The morning after sex can not only make or break the night before - it is also the point at which expectations and boundaries for the future need to be set. Was it just a one-night-stand or something more? Do you want to see each other again and if so then on what terms? Regardless of how serious the night before was for you, morning-after etiquette is important and how we treat the people we have sex with speaks volumes about us. [...]

By | 2018-12-19T23:59:04+00:00 December 19th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

What It’s Like to Be a Sexologist: Behind the Scenes

  Have you ever wondered about what it's like to be a sexologist? How is being a sexologist or a any other sexuality professional (sex coach, sex therapist) in general differ from other types of therapists and healthcare professionals? Does being a sexologist mean you have a crazy and kinky sex life? How can this job affect your dating experiences?   The time has come for something a little bit different from the usual Get Sex Smart podcast episode. This time Dr. Valeria and I decided to tell you everything there is to know... about our job.   Tune in as we discuss all there is to know about our line of work - the good, the bad, and the ugly. In Episode 39 you will get a behind-the-scenes look at the joys and challenges we [...]

By | 2018-12-11T18:44:58+00:00 December 12th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

Privacy and Sexual Shame: What Dating Site Hacks Have Taught Us

Hacks and cyber crime seem to be par for the course these days. In recent years, two major attacks on big dating sites impacted hundreds of millions of people: the AshleyMadison.com hack in 2015, and the AdultFriendFinder.com hack in 2016. Both attacks had dire consequences for the people exposed, with a wave of divorces and even some users' lives being put at risk (in the case of Ashley Madison). They also started a serious discussion of the security of such sites. But the case of dating site hacks is not just a lesson about cyber-security - it can also provide interesting insight on sexual shame within our society. Watching the fallout of these attacks inspired Dr. Valeria and I to make an episode specifically about this issue. In Episode 37 of the Get Sex Smart podcast, we [...]

By | 2018-12-06T10:50:13+00:00 December 6th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

When to Start Having Sex in a New Relationship

Often when we enter a new romantic relationship, we start getting anxious about the many decisions we must make. One of the biggest decisions revolves around sex - when is the right time to start having sex with a new partner? Both offline and online we can find countless "golden rules" that try to give a universal answer to this question. If you are based in the US, you've probably heard of the 3 date (or 5 date) rule. Such arbitrary rules can only make this process more confusing than it needs to be. Additionally, they can create pressure on us to conform to them while ignoring our gut feelings, desires, and boundaries. For instance, someone who wants to have sex on the first date may wait out of fear of being deemed "easy", while someone [...]

By | 2018-11-27T22:26:27+00:00 November 28th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

Is Porn Bad for Your Sex Life?

Porn. As long as there have been people, we’ve been looking for ways to capture arousal and store it for future use.   Think about it - there are surviving neolithic cave paintings of sex. The preserved ruins of Pompeii are full of erotic art. When photography was first invented, it didn’t take long before we were photographing sex.   All that said, one wonders what our early human ancestors would have made of countless, constantly available, and endlessly novel high definition video of most any sexual act one can imagine. Ours is an era of abundance in arousal stockpiling.   We experience a total embarrassment of riches when it comes to capturing human sexual expression on film.   Given that we’re quite a long way from using primordial sex sketches on cave walls to pass [...]

By | 2018-11-26T18:25:05+00:00 November 27th, 2018|Blog|0 Comments

“Gaslighting” in Intimate Relationships

  The phenomenon of gaslighting got its name from the classical play "Gaslight" (and the film adaptations which followed it), in which a young wife is slowly driven to doubt her sanity by her husband and his clever manipulation. Today, the term "gaslighting" refers to a form of abuse and manipulation which can rear its head in any relationship (romantic or not). Like in the original story, gaslighting takes place when one partner intentionally makes the other person in the relationship feel like they are losing their mind, their self-respect, and their sense of self. Gaslighting is a very dangerous form of psychological abuse. It can be extremely subtle and may by its very nature cause the victim to distrust their judgement. Combined with the fact that abusers often appear charming to people outside the relationship, [...]

By | 2018-11-20T23:12:08+00:00 November 21st, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments

Are men from Mars and women from Venus?

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.   This was a popular book when I was young, and became a bit of a catch phrase. You started to hear people saying this quite a lot in the 90s - Mars, Venus… it seemed to make sense to people.   What resonated in that idea for so many people, do you think? Was it this sense that men and women are really so different from each other? Is this why communication within relationships seems so hard?   Sometimes, it can almost feel like you are speaking a different language to your partner... Though to counterbalance that, I am a person that, more than once, has spoken a literal different language than my partner.   Any other travelers in the house?   And what I’ve observed [...]

By | 2018-11-20T23:11:56+00:00 November 19th, 2018|Blog|0 Comments

Bisexuality: Truth, Myths, and Challenges

People identified as bi+(an umbrella term which includes many non-monosexual sexual orientations, such as bisexual and pansexual) outnumber gays and lesbians. Yet their struggles can often go unmentioned and overlooked or narrowed down to experiencing homophobia. Many view bisexuality as a "lighter shade" of homosexuality or a stepping-stone towards it instead of a separate and equally valid identity. What is more, even with improving representation in the media and a rise in informative resources about bisexuality, there is still a lot of stigma as well as numerous negative stereotypes attached to this identity. Since most of us are likely to either know a bisexual person or identify as bisexual ourselves, Dr. Valeria and I decided to dedicate an entire podcast episode to the topic of bisexuality and the myths and challenges that come with it. In [...]

By | 2018-11-12T20:28:04+00:00 November 12th, 2018|Podcast|0 Comments
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