It is all too common for straight men to look to their female partners to make them feel more secure and safe in their masculinity in the bedroom. For instance, according to a recent study in the Journal of Sex Research, many men seem to treat their female partners’ orgasms as a confidence booster and a way to feel more masculine and successful.
While it is understandable that we all want to give pleasure to our partners and feel a rush when seeing them in the throes of passion, having the wrong motivations is a sure path to resentment. So if you ever find yourself hellbent on making your partner orgasm, it might be a good idea to take a step back and consider the reasons behind this drive. To help you in this journey, Dr. Valeria and I recorded an episode of the Get Sex Smart Podcast dealing specifically with this issue.
By listening to Episode 69 you will learn:
- the details of the aforementioned study
- what masculine (and feminine) gender role stress is
- the relationship between gender role stress and the performance model in sex
- how focusing on performance affects your ability to enjoy sex
- the difference between feeling pleasure when your partner is experiencing orgasm and using it as validation
- the impact of porn and society on men’s attitudes towards sex
- all about the connection between using women’s orgasms as confidence boosters and women faking orgasms (which we recorded a separate episode about)
- the support men need from society as a whole
- what women need to be able to experience orgasm and fully sexually express themselves
- how to start a conversation about this with your partner
If you have any burning questions related to dating, sex, and relationships, don’t forget to share them below!
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