Dating Advice That Will Ruin Your Sex Life

Much of the dating advice we come across (both online and offline) these days also involves dealing with the topic of sex and intimacy. Unfortunately, even if we give it the benefit of doubt and assume it is well-intentioned, a lot of the advice we see is inaccurate and can have a lasting negative impact on our relationships and sex life. Advice that is based on myths, false assumptions, harmful gender stereotypes, and general sex-negativity can have a lasting impact on how we approach intimacy and as sex professionals, Dr. Valeria and I often see the result of following this advice in the clients that seek our help.

For this reason we recorded an episode where we address five types of problematic dating advice out there and explain why following it not only won’t help you have good sex now but can also have very negative consequences for your sexual relationship long-term.

By listening to episode 57 of the Get Sex Smart Podcast you will learn:

  • why falling into the Madonna/whore dynamic never ends well
  • how making women the gatekeepers of sex carries over to issues in the bedroom
  • why putting your needs and boundaries on the backburner is never a good idea – even (especially) at the beginning of a relationship
  • the negative impact of having a scaricity mindset when dating
  • why being your genuine self is a prerequisite to having truly amazing sex
  • the importance of coming from a place of worthiness and being your (best) authentic self

If you have any burning questions related to dating, sex, and relationships, don’t forget to share them below!

Feeling shy? You can always send the questions in complete confidence to I read every email, and your question may be answered in an upcoming post, video, or podcast!
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By | 2019-02-20T09:24:42+02:00 February 13th, 2019|Podcast|2 Comments

About the Author:

I’m not just another dating coach. I’m a Certified Sex Coach, Clinical Sexologist, and all-around Sex Nerd. I’ve built my private sex coaching practice by helping men like you, the shy Good Guys, go from being forever in the friend zone to achieving the abundance in sex, dating and relationships that you REALLY want.


  1. apple muncy February 21, 2019 at 5:56 am - Reply

    Weii, there is a deep and pervasive problem with your view of dating. It is that there is not an abundance or woman asking men for dates!!!!
    Perhaps you could spend 30 minutes to an hour brain storming on how men could convey to women that it’s time for women to do their fair share of asking for dates?
    Acknowledge that when women refuse to initiate, it sets the stage for men to be seen as sexuality agressive all or nothing types.

    • Sex Coach Sarah February 27, 2019 at 9:52 pm - Reply

      Hi Apple! It’s great to see you here and thank you for commenting 🙂

      So – my honest opinion? I agree with you in part. I believe that women in the know DO ask men on dates. OKCupid, a free online dating platform that was started by a couple of data nerds, has some really interesting analysis on this – women that message first wind up happier with the people that they date. It’s kind of a win-win.

      Where I disagree with you is that it doesn’t need to be unnecessarily gendered and that’s precisely the point. If you have an interest in someone, the very best thing to do regardless of gender is to make a direct ask, and to be in the headspace that you’ll be equally as happy with a yes as with a no.

      That equally happy with yes or no is a concept I teach as outcome independence, and this is the thing that can set anyone free in dating, sex, and relationships. Invite nos because they save you time, and because you can wind up confident in the yes that you get.

      So – should women ask out the men that they are interested in, rather than wait to be asked? Hell to the yes! And, should men ask out women that they are interested in, rather than secretly pining and hoping she will ask? Hell yes! There would be so many more happy people in the world!

      And inb4 a comment that no women do this – false. Pretty much, erm… yeah around 90% of the boyfriends, hookups, friends with benefits that I’ve ever had has been because I asked. I 100% recommend this approach 🙂

      Otherwise, my friend, how are you doing?

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